a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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