I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
