So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize