Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
