Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize
