How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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