I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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