I just cut my nipple shaving
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
