dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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