I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
