You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
