is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
