Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
