Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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