He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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