Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
