its not stalking. its research.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
