just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
