dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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