Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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