I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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