Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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