I accidentally had phone sex last night
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
