I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize