Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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