I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
