we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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