so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
