do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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