YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She is in my trunk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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