Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
