I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
