I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i dont even know how to be here
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
