it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
