I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
