I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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