Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We need to rekindle our bromance
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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