I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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