What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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