that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Randomize
