It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
