y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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