my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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