This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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