I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
organizing the empties. That sober.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
