How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
