What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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