I hate all girls vehemently.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
