What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
