That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
