I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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