If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
