i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
