Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
