I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
