is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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