We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
